Graphic with compliments from James Howard Davies – www.jameshowarddavies.com
One of my wise clients/teachers William Blake introduced me to what I have come to call the Control Circles. A huge part of my own growth has been to truly try and let go of the “idea” of being in control.
In August 2008 I went for a routine gynie check up and discovered that what I had previously thought of as my ‘firm beer belly’ was in fact a 5 kilogram cyst growing off a fallopian tube. Added to that I had a golf ball size fibroid in my uterus and to top it off endometriosis. Yes; I hear you asking…. “Really??! How do you not notice stuff like that sooner?” and to that question I have no witty response. At that stage of my life I really felt that I was in control of just about everything. I am married to the man of my dreams, I was full time in practice doing what I’m so passionate about, I was eating what I thought was a balanced diet and I was running or doing yoga five times a week. So yip, I was pretty confident I had all my boxes ticked.
The spiritual lesson (the physical “lesson” will be in a follow up blog) that I took away from this experience is that sometimes, you have no control over what happens. I can’t tell you the relief this brought me! I certainly believe I have influence over most aspects of my life, but what I can control is pretty minimal. This has lifted the cloud of anxiety and worry that I always felt lurking around me, as I have handed over to God and trusted that things will happen as they should, I feel incredibly free. It’s actually not up to me to control that all my clients are happy with the service I provide, that all my friends and family feel loved and supported ……
A few years ago William shared with me an exercise where you draw 3 circles inside each other. In the middle circle you write down everything you can control, in the second circle you right down everything you can influence and in the last circle you write down what you have NO control or influence over. It’s really interesting when you start to analyse what aspect of your life goes into which circle. For instance, do you really have full control over your or the kids health? Can you control your reputation? Can you control your partner’s affections?
I strongly encourage you to try this; it really put things in perspective for me!